You can’t find the perfect title for a mystery project

Every so often I see a post: “Can you guys help me choose the best blog name/post title/domain name/book title/book cover?”

People at computerBecause I’m a helpful sort of person, and my skills often enable me to unlock this sort of thing, I sometimes try to engage with these.

And often I end up frustrated because the person prevents me from giving the help they’re asking for.

For instance, they give a list of four titles and ask people to pick the one they like best. But the titles sound like they’re referring to four different pieces of work. So I ask, can you tell us a bit about what your project is so we know what we’re aiming for?

Most often, that doesn’t get answered.   Read more »

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A struggler’s guide to getting visible

Person in spotlight image
If you build it, they will come. Well, maybe.

I’m increasingly sensitive to ‘experts’ giving the impression that if you show up – through a website, social media, ebook, networking event or whatever – an audience will appear as if by magic and bear you along on the wings of success.

It could happen. But for most of us, the alchemy isn’t that simple. And that can leave us wondering what we’ve done wrong.

Most of us need a way to close the gap and create a powerful enough spark to jump across it. We need to create interest and connection in a world full of competition for those things. We need to create fans who like our work so much they promote it on our behalf.

I’ve been trying to get more visible and build an audience for quite a while now, and I clearly don’t know how to do it. More accurately and less self-beaty-up: there are some bits I’m good at and some big holes that I didn’t see until I got up close.

But do you know that saying, “Do as I say, not as I do”? There are things I’ve picked up along the way that would have been useful to my earlier self. So I’ve collected them here in the hope that they’ll help you.   Read more »

You’ve found your purpose – now how do you show it to people?

Hole in the wall graphic

I’ve come across loads of people who are helping others find their purpose, their story, their passion, the work they were meant to do or born to do, and so on.

There’s clearly a great hunger for it.

Old stories are breaking down. The world is not the way they told us when we were kids. The tracks we let ourselves be convinced to travel in have become too small. Communication networks tell us of wider perspectives and new adventures. Social straitjackets have loosened.

More and more people feel that calling to reconnect with the fire inside and bring it out to make a difference.

What happens then? You’ve been on a journey and got help along the way and found a bright new framework for your next chapter. You come out the end with a plonk ready to bring your gifts to the world.

How do you do that?   Read more »

If you want to change the world, stop

Do you think people are rational decision‑makers?

That is: you put facts in front of them about problems and solutions, have a reasoned debate, persuade them of a different point of view, then they change their position and their behaviour.

Head leaf graphicIf so, you have to let go of that idea.

Seriously. Do you want to make progress? That set of assumptions, conscious or unconscious, will keep you stuck for years.

It’s what we were doing in the environmental movement in the 1990s. Back then we didn’t know any different. Psychology and marketing weren’t mass-accessible in the way they are now.

Here’s the thing. Humans have the capacity to be rational decision-making creatures. But for most of us, most of the time, we’re not. We run on habits, worldviews, prejudices, emotions.

If you’re a person biased toward rational problem-solving, like I am and many of my friends in environmental groups were, this is confusing and frustrating. But no less true.

You still see it all the time. People have presented arguments to a government, company or individual and encountered what seems to be a stubborn refusal to shift. They’re treating it as a debating society, and wondering why it didn’t work.

From that frame of reference the main explanation available is that the other side has not understood – either because they’re stupid or because you haven’t explained it properly. So you try again (and again).

But if you step back you can see that what’s really going on is messy psychology at work, and plugging away in rational explainer mode will never succeed.

I’m not saying you should stop opposing bad things and presenting arguments. It’s important to have that out there where people can see it. It’s important that people doing bad things don’t get it all their own way, and that people inclined to question can see they’re not alone.

But in most cases winning a debate is not the point where friction is stopping you moving forward.

That is rooted in people’s conditioning, personal identity, tribal connections, how they’re used to things being done, what they value, how they suppress those values to fit in socially, and all that sort of stuff.

Welcome to the frontier of the 21st century.

 

Want to read more? This post became the first section of my book Planet of the Bubble People.

 

Is scar tissue stopping you finding your treasure?

Ivy covering door

Have you ever been reflecting on your life, and had an experience like going into a room and realising there’s a door that’s been wallpapered over?

Physical scar tissue comes from injuries that heal imperfectly. I’ve adopted the term as an allegory for something that happens in our inner lives.

We have different kinds of pain as we go along. We might react by taking a long time to work it through. At the other end of the scale we might try to act as if everything’s fine and carry on as normal.

But then what can often happen is that we cover it up to protect ourselves. It hasn’t healed fully, but it’s superficially workable. As a raw wound it was hard to bear, but now it’s out of sight, out of mind.  Read more »

Facing the barricades kindly: the mental inflammation epidemic

It sometimes seems like people are queueing up to reject attempts to make the world better.

Brain conflictWhen I’ve been thinking about barriers to change, worldview bubbles and all that, there seems to be one thing at the base of it all.

Our brains have a directive to keep their processing workload down. They use all sorts of tricks to protect themselves.

There’s a marketing principle I came across for the first time recently: “The confused mind says no.”

When too much thinking is required, we reject the whole thing rather than working through it. But how does the level of ‘too much’ get set, and how do different people react?

One way to look at it is inflammation that’s built up over time.

Inflammation-type processes

Do you know what a panic attack is? I experienced it a couple of times several years ago, and responded in typical fashion by getting a book and learning more about it. (Panic Attacks by Christine Ingham – recommended if you’re interested.)

A panic attack happens when something that’s not actually that serious triggers your system into a fight or flight response. Adrenaline is released, heartbeat and breathing increase, senses heighten, etc – the things your body would need to fight bears or run away from them.  Read more »

6 ways you block yourself from communicating your message

Headwall pic

If you have a message to share and an audience to engage, your website and documents and social media need to do that as well as possible, right? But we are humans with unruly brains, so it’s not that straightforward.

A lot of people have resistance around communication. This post is about shining a light on some of the internal blocks that might be holding you back. Do any of them seem familiar? If so, can you reduce their hold so you can do more for your message?

Of course there are lots of legitimate reasons why people might not want to work on their message right now. But I’ve found that most often people draw back from it without giving reasons, and I have to read between the lines. There are clearly internal stories going on like:

  • “I’m busy with more important things”
  • “That’s not for people like me”
  • “I already know all about that”
  • “I’m uncomfortable with that stuff so I’m fending it off.”

Here are a few things that I think are behind that. You might notice they’re interconnected.   Read more »

Agents of S.T.O.R.Y.

Stories at sea graphicWe’re living in a time when old stories of the world are breaking down.

More and more people are seeing and feeling it, as a sense of unease at the edges or a head-on reality gap collision. People are hunting for ways of making sense of the world that they can believe in.

And those of us with messages to share need to help them get there. The world we want is waiting to be made. But only if enough of us manage to make the jump.  Read more »

Why web designers suck
(and how to spot good ones)

When I talk to people about their websites, it’s surprising how often they have a story of a poor experience with their web designer.

Surprised at screen graphicSome of them feel unsatisfied with the results, or bruised by the process, but powerless to do anything about it. Granted, those stories may have another side that I don’t hear.

But there are certainly all too many examples of sites that have a design company’s name at the bottom but are doing a poor job for their owners. (Who may not even realise it, assuming the designer has done it the best way.)

It singes my stoat to see good messages getting short-changed. So this post is to help people understand the territory better, hopefully leading to better working relationships and increasingly fab message channels.   Read more »

The real reason spelling and grammar matter – video blog

To a wordnerd like me, spelling and grammar mistakes jump out and make my brain itch to fix them. And I want to do the best job I can with language.

Most people aren’t wired up like that. If you’re not, is there a real practical reason why you should worry about that stuff?

Yes there is, if you have an audience – clients, supporters, followers, peers – and you care how they see you.

 

 

(This is part of my video skills learning journey. So I apologise for the tics, like saying “you know” every twenty seconds! It was done in one take, so not bad for a learner. Onward and upward!)